Speaker 2: And they say it's because they worry about hurting someone else's feelings. But the person, when we withhold feedback, the person that we're most protecting is ourselves because we're scared about being rejected, not being accepted about being seen as a a mean person or a difficult person or whatever it is, right You insert whatever adjective you want to put there. And so you don't give feedback. But the reality is, is if we want people to grow and we want, and we're serious about that and we want to be intentional about it, we want to create a space for growth. And sometimes creating that space is about feedback. And I've shared this story i in a lot of workshops. If you've been to one of my workshops, you've heard this story, but I remember I, ed, I'll, I'll tell the guys name because he was a great boss, Wade Hall.
Speaker 2: He was the one time, he was my boss's boss and he took me out to breakfast one time early on in my finance career, my corporate career, and we sat down and we had breakfast and Brett and, and I'm thinking, man, you know, I'm doing pretty good from a sales standpoint. I'm really think I'm feeling like a value contributor and my boss's boss sits me down. And what are the first things he says to me is, Brandon, let me tell you why it will never hire you or never promote you. I'm sorry, he, they did hire me, but let me tell you why you're never going to get promoted. And I thought, oh my gosh, here I was thinking we were going to talk about when I was going to get promoted and now he's telling me, let me tell you why we'll never promote you.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my gosh, this conversation is horrible. I'm thinking I'm getting fired. And he said, you know what, we'll never promote you unless you grow up. Now. That was really hard feedback to hear. I didn't like hearing that. I thought it really, you know, Kinda hit me right between the eyes and, but it caused me to think and I realize that I valued fun and out and drinking and staying up late and coming into the office a little bit late. I value those things way more than I was serious about my career and my success. But the reality is, is when I put my values in play right there, I would say early on in my life, probably my career was the number one value that I had over anything else. And I had a very success oriented mindset. Now, as an as impressive as that sounds, it didn't come from a healthy place.
Speaker 2: It came from a place of lack. And so therefore, the way I tried to overcompensate for my feelings of lack was to perform in my life, in all areas of my life and work was just one of them. But the hearing was recognizing that where I wanted to be was not the path that I was currently walking on. I decided to change my behavior. And because of that I had a longer term, more successful career with that company. And that feedback actually made a real big impact on me. And I didn't love getting that feedback. I didn't love hearing it, but I appreciated it later because it made me better and it tapped into the potential that existed for me. Reviews aren't necessarily giving feedback like that, but it's an opportunity to give an overview and an understanding of where someone's at today and where they want to go and what they can do over the next, whatever timeframe it is.
Speaker 2: But so their next review to move forward in that direction, right Everyone has a next step. So my job as a reviewer and as a leader is to find out what that next step is and then create the pathway for that to be successful. And so as we think about this, um, there's a lot of issues that come up with doing reviews that I want you to just avoid and be careful with. Um, number one, we don't want to make reviews critical and where they're primarily critical, right I mean there can be some critique in there and hopefully it's critique they've already heard, but we want to also bring out the positivity in that and make sure that, look, it's, it's not just about being critiqued and doing better, it's also about celebrating the things that you already do well in your career.